babies were throwing up all over the place
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
