is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
