Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
