I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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