btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize