The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
