well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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