I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
