My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
