Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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