at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
