he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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