GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
