i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
