i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
