dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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