Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
