dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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