On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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