I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
