Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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