I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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