I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
