glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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