is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
