I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
