Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
