His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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