If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize