dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
