Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize