what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
