you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
