i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
