i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can text with my tongue
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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