Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
