I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
