I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
