I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
