His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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