The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
