My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
