Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
