It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
