Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
