So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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