She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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