none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
