You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize