Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize