If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
