Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
