I could make wine with my vomit
My cat gives me a boner
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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