I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
