she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
