This is not my ceiling
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
