I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
